Mavs Announce Credentialed Bloggers

DALLAS-Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban held a press conference today announcing which bloggers would be credentialed to cover Mavericks games.

The controversy began after Dallas Morning News blogger, Tim McMahon, wrote a disparaging blog regarding Mavericks head coach Avery Johnson. Shortly thereafter, Cuban banned all bloggers from the locker room, citing a lack of space for the bloggers. The NBA responded by forcing Cuban to open up the locker room to bloggers.

Cuban did exactly that and on Saturday announced, via blog, that he would open up the locker room to bloggers both professional and amateur alike. The caveat being that Cuban would choose the amateur bloggers himself.

Cuban is proud to announce that the first credentialed blogger is none other than Cuban president Raul Castro. Surprisingly, Castro is a zealous Mavericks fan and amateur blogger.

“My brother, he love the baseball. Me? I love the basketball,” responded Castro via satellite. “I love the basketball long time,” added Castro with a snicker.

Interestingly, the brother of Fidel Castro’s passion for the sport developed during war. Castro explained, “The year was 1961. Early on during the Bay of Pigs invasion, I was surrounded and out of ammunition. I took off my uniform and just started playing basketball. They surrounded me, guns drawn, and told me to surrender. I ignored them and kept shooting. They thought I wasn’t a threat and eventually moved on. Basketball, she save my life.”

Although Castro’s basketball for passion cannot be disputed, his blogging skills are. “In Cuba, we don’t have no [sic] computers or internet. I usually just blog on a calculator. If you turn it up side down, sometimes you can make words. Hee hee 8008 says ‘boob,’” explained Castro.

Cuban defended his decision to allow such an amateur blogger and a communist into the Mavericks’ locker room. Cuban explained, “A blogger is a blogger is a blogger. It doesn’t matter if he’s a communist or a revolutionist. Plus, Raul has done some great things. He has recently allowed Cubans to stay in resort hotels and have their own mobile phones. You don’t know how difficult it’s been not having a mobile phone. The other billionaires would tease me. Finally, this Cuban is getting a mobile phone and when I do I’ll be sure to publish the number and share it with everyone so that everyone can call me at any time!”

When explained that the ban was for Cuban citizens living in Cuba, not for people named “Cuban,” the irascible owner became irate. “Shut up! That’s it; I’m banning all people who talk. There’s no room in this locker room for people that talk. Get out! Get out right now! Now! Now! Now!” Cuban yelled as he stomped his feet.

The NBA has yet to comment on Cuban’s ban of “talkers,” but most NBA insiders don’t expect it to last long. McMahon explained, “Cuban’s a talker. If no talkers can go in the locker room, then I guess he can’t go in there either.”

The Mavericks Locker Room blog emailed Cuban to respond to this paradox and only received a three-word response, “my head hurts.”

Enjoy April 1, 2008 everyone!